A milestone

My daughters just got over their first cold. I take a deep breath and try to swallow the lump in my throat. They will never know how big of a milestone this was for us. This time last year my daughters were still on apnea monitors. My Sofia spent 64 days in the hospital with severe apnea. She was perfectly healthy except for the fact that she would forget to breath while she was sleeping or sometimes while she was eating. Her heart rate would drop as mine nearly beat out of my chest. Our doctor warned us that if either child caught the slightest cold she would immediately admit them to the hospital. We couldn't survive another stay in the hospital. It had taken us so long to get both girls home. I missed my Sofia so much when we had to kiss her good night and leave her there in such a strange place. It was not the way a child should start out in life. Instead of the warmth of my arms and the reasurance of her sisters touch she had become accustomed to the beeps, alarms and hospital lights. My life quickly became one of solitary confinement. Day in and day out I cared for my beutiful daughters with out leaving our home for fear that I would catch something and give it to them. My husband constantly washed his hands and worried that he would expose us to something he had been in contact with at work. It was hard and lonely but we survived. Fast forward to today. My husband was on shift while my two little girls ran around with runny noses with out a care in the world. I'm so thankful for Gods everlasting presence in our life.

Living off our stockpile

I have a new goal this month. I am going to attempt to only cook from our stockpile with the exception of buying fresh fruits, vegtables, milk and cheese. This SHOULD be fairly easy. I have been couponing and stockpiling for the better part of a year now. I hate to say it but I have gradually been increasing our grocery budget instead of decreasing it. Saving money, like spending money can become addicting. I have to keep reminding myself that thier are always going to be sales, and no deal is too good to pass up. 4 weeks that is the goal. I'm hoping this will get us back on track. It has actually been somewhat relaxing not having to clip or file any coupons. I have been reading my regular saving blogs just for fun and of course to snatch up free samples. Wish me luck! I really hope we don't end up eating the same thing over and over because I have stock piled too much off one thing and not enough of another.

Twice the life

I was reflecting on all the amazing blessings in my life yesterday. My daughters are so beautiful and happy. I remember thinking that I was going to feel cheated if we didn't have another baby. I thought it was kind of sad that I didn't get to experience the pregnancy of each of my daughters. A year and a half later that thought I had in the back of my head couldn't be further from the truth. I was able to distinguish each baby in my belly. Abby was my kicker!! Which is SOOO who she is. Shes is always in a hurry and on the move. Sofia, on the other hand was such a mellow baby. She is so content with just hanging out. Its difficult to explain but I am a different momma to one then I am to the other. I have been so blessed to have the opportunity to raise these two little angels.

18 months

Abigail and Sofia had thier 18 month check up today! Abby is in the 5th percentile and Sofia th 20th. I am absolutly thrilled with that! They have grown so much. They both screamed bloody murder while they were getting wieghed and measured so I won't even try to describe the blood currdling screams when they were getting thier shots. Sofia actually shook her finger at the nurse and said NO, NO, NO.

I made a friend on Craigslists

I responded to a women's ad on Craigslist several months ago. She was looking for little girl shoes for her daughter and I happened to have several pair I was getting ready to list. We made contact and she came over to look at them. Then she asked the questions...... "Did you use fertility drugs to concieve your twins"? It's a tough question for me, not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed simply because it is so personal. I answered her honestly and told her that we had undergone IVF to cincieve our daughters but they were in fact natural twins because they were identical. One egg had split. She explained that her and her husband had also concieved through IVF at the same fertility clinic we had gone to. We had the same doctor! It's amazing how one word connected us "infertility" We were instant friends. We understood each others pain, desperation and joy. We were two women who's paths had crossed by chance on this very day. We are both about to undergo fertility treaments again. I am so greatful to have a friend who completely understands.

Momma of the double duo

My daughters turned 18 months yesterday. I'm not sure where the time has gone they are SO big now. My husband was at work. He is a firefighter so I was on my own for 24 hours. I've been working full time for 6 months now so I miss my quality time with the girls. Well let me tell you they were in full blown toddler mode yesterday. They were getting into everything!! trying on all thier shoes and hats, fighting and crying, throwning all thier food on the floor. We were having a great day. Bed time rolled around so I carried my two munchkins up two bed. Wondering how much longer I would be able to carry the two up the stairs together. Once they were playing in thier room I realized that I REALLY had to pee. We have a Jack and Jill bathroom between our room and the girls' room. Literally a second after I set down Abby comes running through the bathroom into the other room I start yelling for her and Sofia crawls after her. I felt like the women on the old Calgon commercials. It was funny just not at that moment. I quickly finished my business and went to check on the double duo. They were running wild in my room, excited to be someplace new. They tried every handle on the dresser and the nightstands. They were so funny. Abby kept making snoring noises. She wanted me to lay down and just let them check things out. aaagh its times like these that I can understands peoples fascination with twins. The girls make an amazing team. They are going to be so much fun to raise.

daily dose of chocolate

My husband left me a note this morning on the washboard. He made homemade peanut butter cups last night when I went to bed!!MMMM Should I or shouldn't I eat one for breakfast. You see I've been feeling little self counscious lately. I have always been in pretty decent shape but just can't find the time lately since going back to work and having the girls. I'm starting to notice a little TWIN skin ICK you know the streched out skin on my belly from caring twins. Sorry TMI!!! Oh well I ate my peanut butter cup with an orange that evens things out right?! I was going to eat one later anyways.

Counting down the days

So I'm counting down the days until I resign my position at work. I'm going to miss this job it has been my life for the past 13 years. It strange how much your life changes when you have children. Of course everyone always tells you it does but you really don't know until you become a momma. I have a feeling I'm about to embark on a new adventure, one I don't think I can be totally prepared for. We have decided that the best decision for our family will be to stay at home with the girls. We are going to undergo another round of IVF. I'm scared bought much more prepared this time. Our girls our more then we could ever ask for.